External Critics

We all have critics, some live within us and others without. Sometimes they communicate in unfortunate ways. Today, however, I wanted to focus on listening to external critics.

As parents of young children, we like to find fun and appropriate activities with our children. The kids like movies, but the "pickings" are slim. Enter "Evan Almighty," a story set in the modern day about a man who is chosen by God to build an Ark just like Noah.

I kept hearing negative reviews about the movie. For whatever reason, the critics were not kind. The previews looked funny and the story premise was interesting. No one said the movie was actually bad for kids or objectionable, so we took a risk.

I am so glad I did not listen to the "external critics" and pass on this movie. It was a lot of fun, inoffensive, child appropriate, and had a decent "moral of the story." The kids had a great time and we were entertained too.

My moral of the story was to look for what was not being said. Most of the critics were not saying the movie was horrible or offensive, what they were really saying is that it wasn't a movie they enjoyed. Perhaps it wasn't up to their standards. So be it! Let the rest of us have a good time. I enjoy complex movies and art films sometimes, but my kids won't.

I hope that that critics learn to embrace more wholesome movies for kids and in the meantime, I am looking for a new source of information. I will continue to employ my own critical skills to the criticisms of others.

Shaun

(c) 2007 Shaun G. Jamison All Rights Reserved
www.guideonyourside.com

Feedback Wanted

What I experience myself and hear from others is that we need feedback to improve. Self help books and degrees and community education courses are wonderful, but nothing replaces feedback. The best kind, of course, is feedback from insightful people with decent people skills. Alas, not everyone has great people skills, so we should accept feedback even if it is poorly delivered in the form of unwanted criticism.

Why do we want feedback? Answering a question with a question, have you ever communicated something in a straight forward and articulate fashion only to have it completely misconstrued? Have you ever had a plan that worked out quite differently than you anticipated because you missed an important factor? It is possible that the people who misunderstood you are actually competent people, regardless of how you feel about them in the middle of the miscommunication. It is also possible that the universe is not punishing you when your plans go awry. It may be that you had a blind spot, misconception or were simply missing information. If we want to be our very best, we need other people's perspectives.

How do we get feedback? Occasionally, we get lucky and someone provides us feedback. Sometimes it is built in to a coaching meeting with a manager or an annual review. Most of the time we must ask for it. Try to be as specific as possible: "I am concerned whether the timeline on my project is realistic, could you let me know what you think?" "I am working on audience engagement during my presentations. Would you observe my presentation to see what I could do better?"

On that note, I would greatly appreciate your feedback on this blog. Help me make it better! Post your comments on this Blog or email me directly at shaun@guideonyourside.com.

More to follow . . .

Shaun Jamison