Why is it so hard to say NO?

Gentle Readers,

I am in Minnesota where it is not polite to say no. It is unpleasant to say it and unpleasant to hear it. We are volunteers and givers. Maybe it is the same where you live.

One of the reasons we do not reach our goals or live the vision we have for our life is that by saying yes to something other than our goal, we are saying no to what we actually want to do. It is not always a yes or no proposition obviously, but there are only so many hours in the day.

I ask my clients to learn to say no when appropriate and I had to practice it myself the other day and it was not easy. A friend made a request that was reasonable and appropriate. I wanted to do it and would have felt good about helping. However, I was under tight deadlines and needed to deliver on other promises I had already made. So while the request was reasonable to make, it was not reasonable for me to accept in the context of my other commitments. So I said no. Obviously this is bothering me or I would not be writing about it.

Saying no is a skill. The first few times you try something, you are perhaps unsteady. Maybe you will lack confidence and maybe think it is a bad idea.

Saying yes is great too, at the right time. Saying no is important when it means saying yes to something else that is very important.

Whatever your response it, be clear, straightforward and unequivocal. Do not guilt the person about how busy you are, set boundaries and expectation if you are saying yes.

If this is your challenge, practice saying "no" today! I am going to say "no" to more time writing this blog today ;)

Shaun Jamison, JD, PhD
(c) 2007
www.guideonyourside.com

Daily Journaling

OK, I met with my high performance leadership committee on Monday and the discussion led to the idea that you need to journal every day to stick with it. I am on day six. I am pretty surprised at how much I've been writing!

I did something else new. I've almost always written on the computer, rather than a paper journal. I bought a journal and it's working great. I can easily draw in it which requires more effort on a computer. Ironically, I was recently speaking to someone who had always written their journal on paper and was switching to a computer.

The lesson here is to establish a routine and do what works for you. A second lesson is that perhaps it's necessary to mix things up once in a while to keep it fresh.

Shaun Jamison
www.guideonyourside.com

Are You Already Keeping a Journal?

There are as many excuses for not keeping a journal as there are good reasons to keep on. But what if you were already almost keeping one and didn't know it? The advent of email allows for a great advantage: Your thoughts are preserved more or less permanently. And, yes, this can be a bad thing too . . .

But let's focus on the positive! If you are in the habit of sharing your advice, thoughts and analysis via email, your journal may be half done. Transfer your "greatest hits" of emails into your journal and include some follow up reflection and viola! you've done some journaling.


Shaun G. Jamison, JD, PhD - (c) 2007
Create the New Story of Your Life & Business
952.933-1088

Sign up for a FREE course on Journaling at:
http://www.guideonyourside.com