Making Connections / Sharing Resources

Today I am acknowledging a couple of recent referrals I have received. Bev Lutz gave me the name of someone who has done a lot of work in the area of reflective journals. My dissertation topic presently centers around journaling. Dave Cutaia sent me a link to samples of sounds from the Wallets, a 1980s band that he and I used to listen to in the local "scene": http://www.twintone.com/projects/88154.html. My uncle Lynn corrected a reference I made to a colloquism I made in the blog.

I am so grateful that people take the time to make connections and help out. What really helps, of course, if you let people know what you are working on. I have a friend interested in teaching world languages online, so if I see anything on that topic, I send it to her.

There is a catch, of course. You might find yourself irritating people by sending them unsolicited referrals for issues they aren't interested in addressing. Unsolicited advice can be interpreted as nagging or Spam (not the yummy pork shoulder kind, either).

Let people know what you are looking for. There are lots of great resources out there! Once again, thank you to all of the people who have shared great leads with me over the years!

Shaun

Shaun Jamison (c) 2006 All Rights Reserved www.guideonyourside.com

Post Script

I should say that The Wallets might have a couple of not appropriate for children or sensitive coworkers songs. These are aptly titled to my knowledge. It's been a while since I listened to their whole album. There, that's my disclaimer. Forewarned is forearmed. What can you expect for a bar band? Still, by today's standards, they're probably pretty tame.

Last Time You Gave Someone a Sticker?

One of the side effects of becoming an adult is becoming a little too serious. "Who needs cookies, balloons and stickers? Save all of that 'rah, rah' stuff and give me a raise!" Sound familiar? The point is well-taken that people need real leadership and that solid pay raises can help. We cannot substitute stickers for formal feedback, pay and an articulated vision for the future.

I must say, though, that a sticker or a balloon once in a while wouldn't hurt. My youngest started dance lessons last week. At the end of each of the two sessions, she waited dutifully for her sticker. This shouldn't be a surprise for a preschooler. But what comes next is a little bit of a surprise. After receiving the sticker, she awards it to me!

Even a preschooler can understand the value of sharing a little fun reward. My daughter isn't immune to the "me" focus of preschoolers, but somehow this lesson she gets and she has shared it with me.

While the sticker is a metaphor, you can take this literally if you like. I once took stickers to a cohort meeting in the PhD program I attend to award my fellow students for getting up early and coming to the meeting. Not one of my mostly middle aged cohort passed on the stickers and most wanted to pick out which one they got.

Let's have fun while we do our serious work! Here's a virtual sticker for you! :)

Wish Upon a Star

The other night my youngest peeked out into the night sky and wished upon a star. She diligently refused to say what she wished for then, but after the wish had passed, she revealed all.

She told me her wish "pretty much" came true. She had wished it would be summer the next day and that we would play all day. It turned out to be a warm and pleasant day despite being January in Minnesota and, being a Saturday, it turned out to be a fun day with a lot of play.

Little kids are so smart. We don't always get exactly what we wish for, but we still have a lot to be grateful for. She found a way to reconcile her wish with her reality without really letting it go.

What are you wishing for?

Shaun

(c) 2006 Shaun G. Jamison, All Rights Reserved

Good News!

Hi, for those of you who have not heard, I did pass my comprehensive exams for my PhD. Next stop, dissertation. I am so pleased and relieved. I will admit that the experience was, well, ripe for a discussion of many issues that coaches like to help people with.

Balance, procrastination, stress, health, focus and goals all come to mind. I won't try to express the entire learning experience in this column, but I will say it was valuable for one more reason: It reminded me what it is like to be under that kind of pressure. Sometimes it's easy to get frustrated with people that you work with and you have in your life that are under tremendous pressure. Frankly, they do strange things. They might forget appointments, be edgy or, maybe a little more introspective and honest than you are comfortable with.

Whatever the effect, I wouldn't want to do comps again, but I am glad I did it for this one reason among others. While most of us have some gift for empathy, experience is the strongest teacher to help us understand what others face.

Shaun

Shaun G. Jamison (c) 2006 All Rights Reserved